Listen to what I’m going to tell you now – the recipient CAN NOT know that you are sending them a form letter. I’ve seen some mass messages that men have sent thinking they’re carefully disguised, and it’s enough to make you weep. What I have instead is an equation, and it is perhaps my greatest Internet dating secret.
The perfect introductory email has taken me years of trial and error to develop, and got so good that at one point my response rate was up to 50%. It’s my best friend, and I know every step of it by heart.
Because my landlord is really getting tired of that.
Olivia offers a good deal of advice on what a guy (or girl, for that matter) 50 other guys have asked her “how are you”, “any plans for the weekend”, “how is your week going”, so don’t be surprised when I don’t answer if that’s the ENTIRE text of your message.
I read your emails, and I get it: you don’t give a shit. When someone starts off saying they’re emailing me again, it’s like I feel bad for ignoring them and thus I pay more attention to them.
”, then a simple little picture of Shadoe987 and a few sentences about her and, well, it got me hook, line, and also sinker. ”, I said to my cat as I happily entered my credit card number. But I will always remember her fondly for the lesson she taught me: Internet dating is a numbers game. Look, if you wanna send every person you meet online a deliciously personal email that it took you twenty minutes to craft out of thin air – go for it. And they’re not small numbers, they’re really really big ones.I asked her one question, and the response I received was pure gold. When you’ve got a bunch of emails to choose from, it’s pretty hard to select one that, in the one moment it has to advertise, offers only the word “(none)”. So, generally I’ll go back and find their original message, reread their new message, look at their profile, and decide whether to respond. I actually think it’s not a bad idea to send two emails to everyone you write, if you feel like spending that sort of time on Internet dating, and don’t mind veering dangerous close to serial killer zone.You may think this applies only to men looking for women, or folks trying to attract someone a bit out of their league – but that isn’t so. Most captivating subject line in that assortment goes to…the guy who wrote “86”, I guess? I’ve just gone from spending 10-30 seconds on your email and probably not even looking at your profile to a few minutes thinking about you. But you gotta handle the second email just right (for suggestions, follow the link). A third email is a little too Bates Motel for Olivia’s tastes.One sentence is too little to make an impression, three sentences is desperate hand-wringing, two sentences is just right. You’d be amazed at how many people’s first emails are a complete disaster. Or, even worse, they write six paragraphs, cry a little bit, then apologize, then cry again. The perfect intro message is so basic: talk about what you like about them, what you think they’ll like about you, and get the fuck out.This is real, this is genuine, this must be original for each person you write. Part 2: A Little About You If you’re a cad, you can copy and paste this section every time. Is it dirty pool to use a formula on someone I genuinely want to go out on a date with? But all I’m really doing is simplifying the task for myself and you, should you chose to follow.