-Alternate week plan week 1 with Mom, week 2 with Dad, and so on.
Infants usually remain in primary care of the mothers, but toddlers and preschool-age children actually benefit from switching back and forth between households.
Allowing the child to express feelings and confusions about the divorce and custody arrangement can help him feel a sense of control in the midst of all that change.
"Children need to have input in the process, and depending on how old they are," Pisarra says.
As they get older, kids can graduate to a 2-2-5 arrangement.
Then, if it's easier, parents can switch to an alternate week plan."Your ex may have dropped the ball and driven you crazy, but Wasser reminds her clients that "even though he or she may not have been a good spouse, it is still possible for him or her to be a good parent." In most case, Wasser says, "it is unquestionably best for children to have frequent and continuous contact with both parents." Your marriage may not have worked, but your parenting can still succeed.
"Generally, mental health practitioners who specialize in development recommend that for younger children, more frequent transitions actually are beneficial," Wasser says.
A 2-2-3 plan allows the child to see both parents regularly.
"Divorce causes emotional tunnel vision and people get so focused on their own hurts and needs that they lose sight of the goal of creating a good childhood," Pisarra says.
"These days we have so many tools with which to organize custody," Wasser says.
"There are Google calendars, icalendars, cell phones, texting, and emailing - all which provide parents with the ability to communicate with each other quickly." Pisarra directs his clients to the website Our Family Wizard.com, which offers joint calendars, expense logs, common document storage for things like a child's immunization record or school calendar, and a message board that keeps an accurate and non-modifiable record of your communications that can be admitted in court, if disagreements arise. Parenting is hard enough on its own, and co-parenting adds another layer of complexity.
Shared custody works best when both parents set aside their ego and realize that what is best for the child is not always what feels good for you as a parent.""Often during a separation or divorce, parents make unrealistic custody grabs based on fear or insecurity," says Laura Wasser, a celebrity divorce attorney in Los Angeles and author of the new book It Doesn't Have to Be That Way.
Instead, look at custody as a business arrangement. The career and social commitments of each parent 4.