I’ve always been a confident risk taker but, when it comes to relationships, strangely I increasingly need this team approach to issues that I am unable to navigate on my own.
But perhaps what most muddles the dynamic between us and our friends is that people always speak from where they are emotionally.
‘Tolerance to uncertainty’ is a valid measure for how emotionally and psychologically healthy we are,’ says Claire Marchand, clinical psychologist.
‘Happily dating someone without knowing where it’s going is vital because it allows the relationship to flourish naturally.’ Living in this compulsive information seeking age has intensified our urgency to make sense of complicated situations.
I thought about how it irked me that Tess often compared Eric to a guy she dated who was reluctant to commit.
Akiteng suggest that instead, we seek the counsel of people who have worked on their own issues, as they’re more likely to be objective.
But as a busy City boy, who was genuinely interested, this simply frustrated him – and not in a good way.
More Juicy Content From Your Tango: Advice should be gentle and not accusing.
He confirmed what, deep down, I always knew: it got too intense, too complicated too fast, He was confused by my unpredictable behaviour, and acknowledged his own communication shortcomings.
I thought back to Brooke’s lack of commentary on my speculations about Eric. In truth, her omission of a verdict was the most honest and true answer. I knew in my gut that it was the right thing to do and didn’t bother asking my friends for their advice.
According to relationship counselor Christine Akiteng, people project their own fears and pain, which make their advice more about them than you.
We all have a jaded girlfriend who dishes out the ‘be careful, all guys are the same’ and ‘I’m just telling you this from experience’ warnings.