He says, "When you start dating and going back and forth to see each other, it feels like you are on constant vacation mode.
You are always going out to eat and showing each other great places and if you are having issues during that phase, it will be 10 times more challenging when you are not in ‘vacation mode’ all the time.
Photo: Screen Gems/Courtesy Everett Collection"You're seriously staying the night? It was a Tuesday."You're kicking me out after midnight to go home alone? He hesitated before finally nodding."Okay, well, you have to stay on that side of the bed and be quiet. He was a classic Thursday Guy—we had a great time on the weekends but he always had some sort of excuse when it came to weekday plans.
I drifted off to sleep, pleased when he eventually draped his arm around me and pulled me toward him.
If you can't get along when on vacation, how do you expect to get along when you are confronted with everyday challenges at home that come with normal relationships?
"For this reason, he and Vanessa made a point to confront real life issues, do household tasks, and fit in community service during their visits together.
Tip: No need to bring up this topic in the first week, but if you're in a routine where you are exclusive and looking forward, it's appropriate to put the "Would you move? If neither of you would consider relocating, you may need to re-evaluate if this is a relationship you want to pursue over the long-term.
The common thread with the long-distance couples I spoke with was that they had an end in sight, during which time they knew they would be in the same place.
Jeffrey says, “ A deadline is absolutely essential for a long distance relationship.” About three to six months into their relationship, he and Vanessa talked about what they would do if things worked out. He says, “I would say that the long-distance piece should be no more than a year until one person moves to the other person’s city, or as Vanessa and I did, both move to a brand-new city.” He adds that the joint move has been helpful since they are both in a new environment and exploring a new place together.
Jeffrey admits, "If it was 20 years ago, I don't know if just phone calls would have made it possible (for us to feel) as connected."Tip: If you don't have time for a long involved conversation over the phone or computer, consider sending a quick video message, instead of a voicemail, to let your partner know you're thinking about him or her.
They Had an End in Sight Dating across the country indefinitely can get taxing and it's easy to lose the momentum to keep building your relationship.